"The Closer" - The Rub N' Tug chronicles

My friend Evan enlightened as all with the infamous "Happy Beginnings Technique" which has changed the game for our massage endeavors (That post can be found HERE).

Well Evan just told the A&R crew about his latest experience at new massage joint he frequently visited.

After entering the jerk shack, which had a candle store as the front, Evan and his boy were greeted by two " candle saleswomen." One was a smoking hot RANDO with a fat ass and a nice rack that undoubedtly read "Made In China" on the insde, and the other..well the other was a 101 to say the least(read our Area cHOEd rating system HERE)...

Obviously Evan gets set up with the grusome one, while his buddy snags the dope ass RANDO. During the massage Evan can not help but think about the bad luck he is constantly plagued with. His frustration continues as he gets oil and massaged up by the hideous witch saleswoman. Evan his so grossed out that the thought of a lesbo scene between Lisa Ann and Tabitha Stevens wouldn't get his willy working. 

For the first time in Evan's Rub n' Tug adventures he is dreading the ending. The moment arrives and the beast tells Evan to do the standard flip over (signaling the happy ending, this often triggers an instant boner for "tug go-ers" this phenomenon can be explained by Pavlov's classical conditioning) but all the has to present is a flacid toll resemblies a mini shriveled dill pickle with hairs on the side...Much to Evan's suprise the lady leaves the room!

"Did I ofend her?" Evan thinks to himself. The seasoned tug vet is thrown off because he has never experienced anything like this. In a state of confusion Evan lays there thinking this experience couldn't have gone any worse...When suddenly the door opens, and IN COMES THE HOT RANDO. YES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THATS RIGHT "THE CLOSER" ENTERS THE ROOM.  THE MARIANO OF THE MARRIOT OF RUB N TUGS.The massage joint called in the righty to finish off Evan and send him off with a smile on his face and 1 less nut. This is what we like to call excellent management and we commend The Candle jerk shop for this professionalism. Good luck to Evan and all you other tug goers on your future adventures...